MH Magazine: 23 Things Guys Should Not Confess To

1. Fantasizing about her friends, her cousin, her mom, and all of the other women whose hotness is multiplied exponentially by their unavailability.
2. Sitting in the boss's chair when he's gone.
3. Angry Phil Collins: "In the Air Tonight." "I Don't Care Anymore." "Mama." And when you're alone, air drums.
4. Those cheerleading competitions on ESPN2. Go ahead and watch. They want you to. It's . . . Oh! Kay!
5. Binoculars. Neighbors. You do the math.
6. Deep, emotional conversations with your closest buddy. The best part: Once you have one, neither of you will ever mention it again.
7. The "Confessions" page of Cosmopolitan magazine. Your girlfriend's copy, of course.
8. Karaoke. You do it because it makes the girls giggle. But deep down, you know you're better than Mick.
9. Every friggin' word that comes out of Jessica Simpson's pouty li'l mouth.
10. Cotton sheets with a thread count higher than Ted Williams' career batting average. A little knowledge of fabric is nothing to be ashamed of at bedtime.
11. You probably call it something like "scuttlebutt" or "intel." Why not call it what it is: gossip.
12. Warm Krispy Kremes. I mean, good God.
13. Pottery Barn. Restoration Hardware. Pier 1 Imports. You "tolerate" browsing there to mollify your lady—and to trade off a trip to the sports bar afterward—but for weeks you've been eyeing that Persian/Taiwanese rug and the monogrammed barbecue-utensil set. And wouldn't that Amish-made bookcase just kill in your den?
14. Flexing your fingers on the steering wheel. Waiting. Revving. Then blowing the poor sap next to you off the line.
15. Slippers!
16. A cheeky chardonnay.
17. Picking scabs, popping zits, and giving that mosquito bite one good scratch before vowing never to touch it again.
18. Movies like Old School that make you think, If only . . .
19. Saturday-morning reruns. Saved by the Bell (TBS) leading into a couple of 90210s (FX) fills your Tiffani Thiessen quota and is good hangover therapy.
20. Even better hangover therapy: the Kevin Costner triptych of Waterworld, Wyatt Earp, and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.
21. Googling yourself.
22. Kelly Ripa. It ain't her talk-show chops. Maybe it's how she and Faith Ford smeared chocolate over each other. Maybe it's her domineering hotness. But it's definitely something.
23. Your filthiest, most psychotic erotic fantasy—the one that's either too dark, too dirty, or too illegal to mention. Don't worry. Every guy has one.
Don't Get Suckered, Suckah!

If a beautiful girl does any of the following 10 things, you might start thinking she wants you. You might be wrong.
1. She backs her ass up into you while dancing.
All this means is that she’s had about eight Red Bull and vodkas and the DJ just put on some Lil Jon. What! Ye-ah!
2. She invites you to brunch.
A rule of thumb: Eggs and coffee never lead to the bedroom. Brunch after sex, yes; brunch before sex, never.
3. She calls you hysterically crying.
You think by getting intimate with her feelings, she’s showing she wants to be intimate in other ways. Reality: She’d never let on to a guy she wants to sleep with that she’s teetering on the edge of sanity.
4. She compliments you on your sweet new shoes or shades.
She’s not noticing you, she’s noticing new pretty, shiny, fashiony things.
5. She asks you for sex advice.
She’s just trying to find out what that other guy she’s going to blow enjoys.
6. She bums a smoke.
You’re psyched about a few precious minutes alone; she’s suffering your company to feed her soul-crushing addiction.
7. She meets you for drinks wearing sneakers and a ratty old tee.
This is not an attempt to show you her cute sporty look. She honestly doesn’t give a shit whether you find her attractive.
8. She flirts with you—sometimes.
If she goes hot and cold, don’t kid yourself: She’s not playing hard to get; she’s just keeping you hanging on in case she can’t get anyone she likes better.
9. She invites you to a boring event, like a play.
Could Mamma Mia! be so excruciating that no one else would go with her? Bingo.
10. She seductively eats a banana or ice cream cone in front of you.
Sorry, guy, but there’s just no other way to eat these things.
Excerpt From Maxim Magazine
MF: Tips For Being A Wingman

A good wingman is your personal mercenary when you're on a mission to score. Which buddy will serve you best? Here are four golden qualities to look for when choosing a partner for the trenches.
By Ariane Marder
Tips For Being A Wingman - Men's FitnessAOTS: A Salute To Ohio
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