If men weren't great explorers, we never would have found America, the Rockies, or scrambled porn on channel 99. So why should our entire sex life always take place in the same spot? Here's our list of the best places to fool around.
1. On the Washer Your washing machine produces more vibration than any other appliance in your home. When your butt's on the lid, the motion is transmitted through your pelvis, essentially turning your member into a life-size
vibrator.
2. In the Vault To really add some spice to your sex life, make a quick stop at your bank. A safe-deposit-box room is quiet, the door is locked, and there's no camera. It's a great place to make a deposit and withdraw.
3. At Victoria's Secret The best dressing rooms for sex are at Victoria's Secret. Sometimes they have love seats in there. Ask the saleswoman if you can go in to make sure you like what your
girlfriend is trying on.
4. In a Beanbag Chair You can contour it to any shape, and it'll support you in ways you're not accustomed to.
Doggy-style sex works great when she's on her belly, draped over the amorphous blob (the chair, not you).
5. During Christmas at the In-Laws' Bring the
kids' gifts—wrapped, but in a bag. Say you haven't wrapped them yet and duck into a spare room.
6. A '57 Chevy That's our nostalgic choice. For more practical men, it's the Ford Excursion, which measures a romp-friendly 227 inches long. As one salesman put it, "It'll hold 36 sheets of half-inch plywood between the wheel wells." Which is one way of thinking of it.
7. A Large Swiss Ball The ball can actually help improve your depth of penetration, if you're in the right position. Sit on the ball and have her straddle you, facing away from you. Hold her hips for balance, and use the rocking motion of the ball to thrust in and out of her from behind. Do one set of at least 50 repetitions.
8. A National Park If the missus likes to vocalize, pitch your tent in Alaska's Denali National Park, where 6 million untamed acres and a crowd-thinning permit system leave little risk of waking the neighbors. She'll
gasp in delight when the midnight sun bathes the Big One (that's Mt. McKinley, buddy) in salmon pink light.
9. The Elevator Try a freight elevator. It won't have an alarm, and you can stop it between floors for more privacy. Try this when you and your partner are helping a buddy move into a new apartment. Pack the front and sides of the elevator with boxes; leave the middle clear.
10. The Garage At a friend's party, offer to fetch some more
beer, then slip out the garage door. Nobody will think anything of you being away for 20 minutes, and you can always hide behind the car if you hear someone coming.
