Not that I’m starting a new segment or anything but since I live in Manhattan there’s quite an abundance of “rural” things that we rarely see here in the city that never sleeps.
Here’s one from MSNBC
Everett Skinner and his family have started keeping their windows closed at night after a bear broke into their home and he fatally shot it.
The bear ripped off a window screen and climbed into their den Saturday night, Skinner said.
Skinner’s daughter Nicole awoke at about 11:30 p.m. local time to a strange shuffling sound and was the first to spot the bruin, the Daily Courier reported. She quickly retreated to her parents’ room to get help.
Come on guys. He was probably just trying to catch up on Family Guy.
Like Fox News' anchor and iPhone/Big Mac-hater Shepard Smith, this guy won't BRB. [Mike Lukovich's cartoonThanks David]
("Don't worry, Fedor, there will be other offers. Say, would you like to open for a puppet show in Stockton this weekend?" Photo courtesy of 5oz.)
You gotta be kidding me with this shit. According to Carmichael Dave (via Bloody Elbow), here's what the UFC was offering Fedor to sign with them:
TMZ has audio of Erin Andrews' 911 call, made last week after she spotted two men outside her home in Georgia. "I'm the girl that was videotaped without her knowing," she says by way of introduction.
Here's the sober-minded New York Post's story. You can listen to the call here. The transcript:
Dispatcher: DeKalb 911. What's the address of your emergency?
Andrews: Um, I was in the news recently about being in a hotel naked, and I have paparazzi outside my window, and I was told by law enforcement that if I did to call 911.
Dispatcher: Do you want to meet with an officer?
Dispatcher: Do you want to meet with an officer, ma'am, when they come out?
Andrews: Yeah, these guys are sitting in a car outside my house right now. I would like to tell the officer to have them leave because the cops have told me to call 911 if they're outside my house.
Dispatcher: And what's your name?
Andrews: My name is Erin. My last name is Andrews. I'm all over the news right now.
Dispatcher: I'm not familiar.
Andrews: I'm the girl that was videotaped without her knowing, without her clothes on in the hotel.
Dispatcher: Really?
Andrews: And I've got two assholes sitting outside my house.
Dispatcher: I'm so sorry.
Andrews: I am, too. Thank you.
Dispatcher: We'll send someone out. What kind of vehicle are they in?
Andrews: They're in a RAV, a white RAV4. I'm in a gated community, and I don't know how they got in. Mom, can you see their license plates? It's a handicap license plate they have. What's the license plate number?
Dispatcher: What's the tag number?
Andrews: We're trying to see. Do you see it, Mom? OK, I'm gonna try and go to another room and see if I can read it. I can't believe these jerks are knocking on my door. Fucking assholes. Mom, you're totally being obvious.
Dispatcher: Are they black, white or Hispanic?
Andrews: What?
Dispatcher: Are they black, white or Hispanic?
Andrews: They're both white males. I think it's — they know I'm here, 'cause I have a car out front. So they know I'm inside. I have private security that I'm working with, but they're not with me currently, and they said call 911. OK, here's the license plate. It's a handicap license plate for Georgia.
Andrews: They're looking at me through my window.
Dispatcher: Are you OK?
Andrews: Yeah, I'm just — I did nothing wrong, and I'm being treated like fucking Britney Spears, and it sucks. I'm sorry.
Dispatcher: OK, the first available unit will see you as soon as possible.
Andrews: Thanks. Do you know how far they're out?
Dispatcher: No. They should be in — they'll be here as soon as possible.
Andrews: OK.
Dispatcher: OK, thank you.
Andrews: Thanks.
TMZ says the reporters left without incident. To the lunatic fringe out there that believes beyond all reason and sense that Erin Andrews is somehow basking in the attention now, I think "Mom, can you see their license plates?" is a pretty clear rejoinder.
*******
This was the only real quote I could find on Jemimah Goosen:
Um, I’m going to be honest and say that the only thing I know about Jemimah Goosen is that she was in some Cosmo lingerie competition.
Other than that we know that she’s South African. Whether she has an relationship to golfer Retief Goosen is a complete mystery. What isn’t a mystery is the fact that Jemimah elicits way too much pancake syrup dreams.
She’s got a great look though.
More of Jemimah after the jump
(Props: EJB.com, via FilmDrunk.com)
If you haven’t been paying attention to the internet lately, you might not be aware of the phenomenon known as the ‘pool jump.’ Basically a dude jumps out of three feet of water and on to the side of a pool in order to prove what a great athlete he is. The whole thing started with Jarron Gilbert, who just got drafted by the Chicago Bears. Not to be outdone, UFC lightweight champ B.J. Penn pulled off the same jump and helped to show that MMA fighters are every bit the athletes that NFL players are. Score one for us, right?
But then along comes Washington Redskins wide receiver Keith Eloi who raises the bar by jumping out of the pool backwards. Damn the NFL and their constant one-upsmanship. We can’t let this go unavenged, MMA fighters. Quick, somebody get Georges St. Pierre on the phone. Tell him we need him to backflip out of a pool and land with both feet in a half-full glass of water. The very future of our sport depends on it.
Good news today for all you ass fetishists (that is to say, men). Reggie Bush and saucy Armenian booty princess Kim Kardashian are officially busto.
Kardashian's rep told Us Magazine that the couple split up in a mutual decision.
"Nobody cheated," a source close to the couple says.
Cheated? I don't recall ever asking about someone cheating. What are you hiding, Kim? Apart from two giant scoops of coffee ice cream down the back of your dress? No word yet on whether or not Bush will retain any kind of visitation rights to Kardashian's army-engineered levee of lovin'. But he'll have more than enough time to ruminate over what went wrong as Pierre Thomas gets 25 carries a game this upcoming season.
I'm going to be honest here. I find Kardashian unreasonably appealing. And I find the fact that she's clearly a self-centered, utterly vacuous human being even more of a turn-on. If you're married like me, and a tramp like Kardashian shows up on the TV, your wife will invariably turn to you and say, "Oh my God! What a skank!" And you'll nod in agreement and feign a look of consternation. But the whole appeal of Kim Kardashian is her inherent skankiness. She's perfected uppity skankiness on a level I find rather impressive. The fact that she got plowed on camera by Ray J and then leaked it publicly only ENHANCES the guilty pleasure of it all.
So wish these two kids good luck as they arrive at the mutual decision to go start banging the shit out of other people. I wonder if Kim is broken up about this whole thing. Let's check her Twitter feed.
Gym time! Whose coming with me? about 8 hours ago from web
Nope. That ass is now open for business.
Cursive handwriting, a one-time mainstay of communication and mark of status, has become a rarity on the cusp of extinction. We're wondering if you think that's a good thing for all those future thank-you notes and other correspondence.
Photo by procilas.
If you've long since abandoned writing in cursive, you're in the good company of most of the world and the entire Lifehacker editorial staff. According to TIME magazine, cursive has been on a slow decline since the 1920s and practically on life support since the 1980s:
People born after 1980 tend to have a distinctive style of handwriting: a little bit sloppy, a little bit childish and almost never in cursive. The knee-jerk explanation is that computers are responsible for our increasingly illegible scrawl, but Steve Graham, a special-education and literacy professor at Vanderbilt University, says that's not the case. The simple fact is that kids haven't learned to write neatly because no one has forced them to. "Writing is just not part of the national agenda anymore," he says.
Write everything in cursive? Only your signature? Plan never to write another word in cursive, thanks to the non-tender ministrations of Sister Angelina?
<br> <a href="http://answers.polldaddy.com/poll/1814843/">Do You Write in Cursive?</a><span style="font-size:9px;">(<a href="http://answers.polldaddy.com">polls</a>)</span><br>Log your vote in the poll above and then sound off in the comments with your tales of dapper penmanship or handwriting woes.
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