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So What Were You Doing At Age 17?

Posted by itsyourboyerik on 7:24 PM


Zac Sunderland is a 17-year-old California beach bum with shoulder-length locks and fears of conformity. So he's Jimmy Clausen, except he sailed around the world by himself. Winning in Touchdown Jesus' shadow? Try navigating away from pirates, dude.

Sunderland's tale is still the same old story, a fight for love and glory. Not only have the media checked in with intermittent profiles of the boy wonder in the last year, but some French author prophesied Sunderland's circumnavigation back in 1873, we're told. And almost 250 people have sailed the globe's oceans by themselves before! So come on, this isn't impressive or anything. Not at all.

I mean, the year in solitude was like a walk in the park for this so-called "figure of sailing lore." Yeah, he saw pirates and was forced to interrupt his family's Sunday night dinner via satellite phone. And sure, his father told him to "shoot to kill" with his loaded pistol. He went sleepless for 60 hours tinkering with the boat's rigging, he only ate canned food and drank desalinated water, a 30-foot wave cave engulfed his 36-foot boat.

La-dee-da. Kid had nothing to do but play Grand Theft Auto and Guitar Hero, and when he docked for a few days, he could order six scoops of ice cream, no questions asked. Booty.

Now, as time goes by, he returns to a hum-drum, landlocked life of jealousy and hate as a younger sailor figures to usurp Sunderland's title in a few months, and a 15-year-old Australian plans to steal the spotlight from both next summer. What's a young buck to do as an encore? I'm sure there are a few girls looking for a prom date. Maybe he can star in an MTV reality show. Or he can suit up for Charlie Weis. He may be a legend, but after all, he's still got four years of eligibility.

Zac Sunderland completes solo sail around the world [LA Times]
Do Hard Things [ESPN The Mag]


[Excerpt From Deadspin]


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Friday Foolishness

Posted by itsyourboyerik on 8:18 PM
Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

  • 10 Incredible Beer Pong Trick Shots (HailMaryJane)
  • 5 Things You Didn't Know About NASA (AskMen)
  • When Comic Heroes Get Old (Gunaxin)
  • Moths Outwit Bats by Jamming Sonar (NPR)
  • How Human Cloning Will Work (HowStuffWorks)
  • Preparation H Doesn't Work On Teeth (TastyBooze)
  • How Moods Trigger The Panties Your GF Wears (RegretfulMorning)
  • 5 Ways You're Treated Like A Criminal Every Day (CoEd)
  • 69 Sexiest Photos of Girls Dressed As Wonder Woman (Manofest)
  • 10 Things Hugh Hefner Probably Says Before Having Sex With A New Girl (Uncoached)

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10 Real Pictures That Look Like Photoshops

Posted by itsyourboyerik on 12:35 AM

Real Photoshops


Taken in 1964 in White Sands


We’ve seen plenty of galleries out there like this one.  In fact, Cracked makes it a regular post from time to time.  But that doesn’t mean these pictures aren’t really awesome.


So if you think I’m ripping off an article idea just read about 15 blogs for 15 days and see how much similar shit you read.  Just relax, enjoy these pictures and let me completely defend myself when there’s absolutely no reason to.


Here are 10 real pictures that look like photoshops


(more…)

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40 Common Men’s Fashion Mistakes to Avoid

Posted by itsyourboyerik on 12:25 AM




40 common fashion mistakes to avoid:


Clothes that don’t fit - Baggy clothes make a person look sloppy, and like they’re wearing hand-me-downs. If your body type makes it hard to find well-fitting off the rack, make your tailor your best friend. Getting the right fit will transform anyone’s image.


Wearing a short sleeve shirt with a tie – Unless you work for a fast-food joint, where sleeves will probably get dirty while making sandwiches, avoid wearing a short sleeve shirt with a tie, as it is generally perceived as lower class apparel. If you want to stay looking professional and confident, stick to long-sleeve shirts.


Dirty shoes – It’s the area that too many guys overlook in terms of cleaning and proper care. A stylish man keeps his shoes as he does any of his other clothes; clean and free of scratches and dirt.



Warped shoes – Keep at least two pairs of dress shoes in the same color so you can let one pair rest for a day from sweat and stretching. Doing this prevents them from warping. Place a pair of shoetrees in your shoes when you’re not wearing them to maintain their best form.


Improper pants length –Don’t fold up your jeans or your chinos unless it’s some sort of fashion statement that you’re making. Your pants can come down to the bottom of your shoes but make sure they come just above the floor to avoid fraying your pants. Also, you only need a slight break, or crease, in the pants leg. And don’t be the guy who has his feet swimming in all that extra fabric. All it takes is a simple trip to the tailor to get them hemmed.


Wrong socks with a suit – When you’re wearing a suit, match your sock color to your pants, not your shoes. This is the same as mismatching your suit pants to your jacket. If you’re wearing a navy suit with black shoes, reach for navy socks. And when wearing a light suit, make sure the socks are darker than the suit but a shade or so lighter than the shoes.


Wrong belt color – If you’re wearing dress shoes, make sure the color of your belt matches the color of your dress shoes. Also, the finish of the belt and shoes need to match. In other words, if your shoes are shiny, your belt should be shiny as well. If you’re wearing casual shoes or sneakers, make sure you wear a thicker casual belt to match instead of a thin dress belt.


Improper tie length – A man’s tie should always end at the center of his belt buckle. This is such a simple rule, but overlooked by many. Having a tie that’s too short or too long, can make a man look incompetent.


Forgetting the necktie dimple - It’s the telltale sign of a professional who knows how to wear a tie.


Being too “buttoned” up - If a jacket has two buttons, just fasten the top button. If it has three buttons, you can close the top button, the middle button, or middle and top button. The key is to always leave the bottom buttoned undone. This is a tradition that has been used for decades, and will keep your style looking smart.


Socks and sandals – Have you seen anyone ever pull this off, and look sexy? Case closed.


Cartoon clothing - I love Disney characters, but unless you work for Disney, wearing them on your tie or shirts during the week make you look like you’re stuck in fantasy land. Oh and while we’re on the subject, stay away from those cheesy belt buckles as well. Instead, stick to the classic wardrobe pieces that will keep you looking your best for years to come.


Dress socks that aren’t long enough – When wearing a suit, your socks should come up to your calves, and stay there. When you cross your legs, you shouldn’t be showing any part of your legs. Isn’t it lovely when you see a man’s hairy leg peeking over his socks? When dressed casual, I recommend going very short on the socks or go completely sockless. So fully covered for professional wear, and the sockless look if you’re dressed casual.


Wearing the wrong colors - It’s important to match the color of your clothes to your skin tone. You want the focus to be on you, not the overwhelming color of your shirt. If you have dark skin, you can either wear dark colors or bright colors that match the strength of your skin color. If you have very fair skin, lighter colors are most flattering on you – like soft pastels or icy colors.


Wrinkled clothing- Unless you’re going for the “I sleep in these clothes” effect, keep all your clothes pressed and wrinkle-free. It’s a good habit to always hang up all your clothes, never throwing them on the floor of your room after use.


Wrong casual tie - If you’re wearing a tie as part of your casual outfit, go for a slim tie instead of the wider ones; keep those for the office. It looks a thousand times more stylish.


Wearing too many colors – Limit each of your outfits to a maximum of three colors or shades to maintain a coordinated look. If in doubt find a color wheel online and use it to help you choose your colors. Colors opposite each other on the wheel are “complementary colors.” Colors adjacent to each other are called “analogous colors”. When putting together an outfit, stick to complementary and analogous colors and remember less is more.


Wearing a backpack with a suit – Whenever I’m walking around the city, I see a lot of professional people wearing nice suits and carrying backpacks. I understand that a backpack can be more comfortable because you can throw it over your shoulder instead of holding a briefcase, but you can also get a nice messenger bag to maintain a professional look but keep you hands free and comfortable.


Unflattering hairstyles – Hair is one area of your image that you can constantly experiment with and upgrade without paying more than you normally do. Look around and see which hairstyles look flattering to you, and try something new this season.


Excess cologne – If a woman can only smell your cologne when she’s very close, this is good. She’ll have more reason to stay close. If a woman can smell you from across the room, need she come any closer? Depending on the strength of your cologne, use sparingly, if your cologne loses it’s smell throughout the day, simply reapply. A good rule of thumb is to limit it to two sprays – once on your neck and wrists.


Too much jewelry – All the jewelry a man needs are watches that will match different outfits, and a wedding ring if he’s married. Unless you’re a rock star, don’t go around wearing five rings and a bunch of necklaces at the same time. It looks tacky. Limit yourself to no more than three pieces of jewelry.


Comb-overs – Your not fooling anyone by covering up your bald spots – it’s better to accept and shave it all off Bruce Willis style. It makes you look a lot more sharp, and more importantly, healthy.


Sweatpants – Unless you’re going to the gym, you should never be wearing sweats out in the public. Not only do we dress up for ourselves, but mostly for other people. By wearing sweats, it’s easy to disrespect the people you’re meeting - they may feel that they’re not worth you cleaning up for.


Oversized branding – Avoid clothes that make you look like a walking advertisement. Don’t you know that’s what the advertisers want? Unless you’re getting paid, you’re getting the bad end of the deal.


Tucking T-shirts in – Tucking in polo shirts is acceptable, but t-shirts should be kept casual. If your t-shirt is too long then it’s probably too big on you.


Wearing a crew neck tee under a dress shirt – Pick up a v-neck undershirt and you’ll look a million times better.


Clipping your cell phone to your belt – This is as attractive as using a Bluetooth headset as a fashion accessory. It’s a cell phone, not a gun, keep it in your pocket.


Clunky square toe shoes – Popular in the 1990s, fashion has now strayed far away from this non-classic look. They’ll probably never come back into fashion so lose them and get some slimmer shoes.


Too many prints – Whether with casual clothes or dressy, avoid mixing too many patterns or prints together. If you’re wearing a suit, a good rule of thumb is to keep it to a max of two patterns. In other words, if you’re wearing a patterned suit, wear a solid shirt and a patterned tie, or if you’re wearing a solid suit, you can wear a patterned shirt and a patterned tie. But having a patterned tie, a patterned shirt, and a patterned suit can make you look too busy.


Mismatching styles – Don’t wear your sporty Oakley sunglasses with a blazer, or a pair of cargo pants with a dressy shirt. Keep your outfits coherent and matching in style.


Bulky pockets – I see a lot of guys walking around with bulging pockets. If it’s your wallet that’s creating that bulge, spend some time taking out all those old receipts or business cards. If you need to hold on to them, keep them in a safe place and take them out when you need them. Get a slimmer wallet or a money clip to save space.


Dirty nails – Some men have very overworked and nasty hands. They are either really callous, or they have cracked cuticles. If you work outdoors or lift weights, wear gloves, and use hand lotion before you go to bed at night. Keep your fingernails trim, and free of hangnails, cracked cuticles, and dirt.


Keep your facial hair well groomed – The hair on your face should be orderly. Your face is the first thing noticed, and so maintaining your facial hair is important if you want to look sharp. Either keep a cleanly shaved face, or keep your beard trim. They should absolutely should be no hair underneath your chin on your neck area.


Hair in the back of their neck – Hair on the back of your neck is the same thing. If you don’t get haircuts too often, use a small mirror to check the back of your neck against another mirror, and use a razor to shave any hair that’s growing on the back of your neck.


Using too much hair product – Be aware that looking like you have a bottle of hair product on your head never looks good. A woman sometimes wants to be able to run her fingers through your hair, not hurt herself doing it. Use a smaller amount than you think you need.


Wearing sandals outside of the beach or pool – Keep the flip-flops for the pool, and opt for a casual pair of driving moccasins this summer. Driving moccasins are usually made of leather, but really easy to slip into and have flexible rubber soles, which make them the rich man’s slipper. A pair of dark brown ones will work perfectly with almost anything. Wear them without socks and a pair of cotton shorts for a classically stylish appeal. And if you do wear sandals to the beach or the pool, make sure your toenails are trim and healthy looking.


Not tucking in dress shirts - If your dress shirts are long enough to cover your butt, they are meant to be tucked in. The shirts are made longer so that when you sit down, with your shirt under your butt, your shirt doesn’t come out of your pants. If you’re someone who hates tucking in at casual settings, than make sure the dress shirts you wear are tailored shorter to come above the center of your bottom.


Being a fashion victim – Avoid wearing something just because it’s popular, and not because you actually like the way it looks and feels you. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with wearing things that are in fashion, or trying something out of normal comfort zone, but the problem happens when you’re constantly needing to buy that next “fashion piece” that everyone seems to be jumping for. Build a style of your own instead of joining the clones.


Not taking care of that unibrow – Keeping your eyebrows groomed is just as important as the hair on top of your head. Use a tweezer and pluck any hair that is above the nose, it has to go.


Wearing athletic socks, for non athletic occasions – Keep the white athletic socks for the gym or when you’re out playing sports, otherwise, stick to the navy or black socks. They have casual ones in those colors as well. They always look more stylish than white.


Don’t settle for low-grade tees - I see so many guys walking around with their free Pepsi shirts or something they got from their last vacation to Canada. Avoid looking like a walking advertisement this summer, and try a solid-colored v-neck t-shirt instead, or stick to collared short-sleeves for something a bit more dressy.


Wearing pseudo dress shoes with a suit - I see a lot of guys who have an awesome suit, and then ruin it with ugly work-type boots . Or they wear a pair of black shoes that are something like a hybrid between sneakers and dress shoes. These types of footwear ruin the rest of the outfit. The quality of your shoes should match the rest of your outfit quality.


An undershirt is just that - an undershirt - An undershirt’s purpose is to absorb the sweat, dirt, and body oils that we all inevitably secrete, and prevent stains on your dress shirts. The name explains their purpose. It’s not meant to be worn as an actual shirt by itself, so avoid this fashion mistake and call your buddies out on it when you can.


Protect yourself from making these fashion blunders, and keep looking your best!

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How To: Pretend You're Listening to Your Girlfriend

Posted by itsyourboyerik on 11:27 PM



 

It's eight o'clock tonight, and you've got a computer, a television set, a cell phone, and a paused game of Skate 2, all grappling for your attention.  The last thing you feel like paying attention to is your girlfriend, and whatever trivial matter she's decided to complain about.  There's a difference between your girlfriend and all of those other things, though: if you don't pay attention to her, she'll totally leave, and that would suck. That doesn't mean that you actually have to devote your attention to her, but you'll have to figure out how to make her think that you're focusing on her, rather than the action-packed finale of Whale Wars that's blaring in the background.  Here are some helpful tips to get you started:


  

Blink Frequently
 

Blinking is your way of telling the rest of the world, in a bold yet silent voice: "I am conscious!"  Use this to your advantage.  Women love it when a man remains conscious during a conversation.  Blinking consistently is a great way to tell them that you're both alive and awake.  Try not to focus too much on it, though, as overly excessive blinking can be distracting, and even signify health problems or brain disorders, and you do not want your girlfriend thinking you're retarded.  With some practice, you should be able to blink naturally while your girlfriend is complaining to you.

 


 

read more

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New Xbox Live Update: Full Game Downloads, Expanded Netflix Features and More

Posted by itsyourboyerik on 9:35 PM

The newest Xbox live update is in the process of filtering out to the masses, and it brings with it some pretty sweet features. It'll offer downloadable Games on Demand (full games!), new Netflix options and a bunch more.

Games on Demand looks pretty great; you'll be able to download full games, including manuals, and you'll have access to them forever, meaning free re-downloads in case you delete them. The new Netflix options include "movie parties" that sound sort of awkward, wherein you and a bunch of other avatars sit around and share digital popcorn (we are not making this up, see the press release below). But it'll also give you more control over your Instant Watch queue and supposedly give you smooth playback even with a finicky Internet connection. No luck yet on the Facebook, Twitter, Last.fm, or Zune video additions we were promised at E3.

A warning: This is rolling out in waves, with a select preview first. Games on Demand won't be available until early August, and even that's only in the preview. We don't have an exact date for the wide release, though it'll almost certainly be in late summer. Check out the presser below for more details.

What does this Xbox LIVE Update include?

Netflix Updates
Now you can watch movies with your friends no matter where they are and manage your queue from the comfort of your couch.
· Movie Parties – Xbox LIVE Gold members can sit together in a virtual theater with up to seven friends no matter where they are while your Avatars watch a movie, flirt or even throw popcorn at each other.
· Manage Your Queue – Browse the Netflix Instant Watch video catalogue, choose from the most popular movies and genres and add to your queue all from the comfort of your couch – no computer required.
· Enhanced Playback Experience – Enjoy a smooth viewing experience when your internet bandwidth fluctuates.
· Friends Info – Richer information is now displayed in the Friends channel and in the Guide showing what you and your friends are doing.

Avatar Marketplace
Express yourself! Deck your Avatar out with the latest clothing and props from the top brands and game franchises.
· Clothing – Download premium items, including branded apparel from your favorite fashion labels and Xbox 360 games such as "Halo."
· Props – You can now equip your avatar with animated items they can carry around and interact with.
· Awardables – The ability to earn Avatar clothing and props as rewards within games has been added. Please stay tuned for an update on supporting titles.

Games on Demand— Please note that Games on Demand will be available in the preview beginning early August.
Enjoy 24 x 7 access to a growing online library of popular full game titles on Xbox LIVE whenever you want them, in the comfort of your living room.
· Purchase Options – Browse and download a great selection of full Xbox 360 games using Microsoft Points, direct debit, or credit card.
· Game Manuals – Game manuals for Games on Demand titles can be viewed, downloaded or printed on Xbox.com.
· It's Yours Forever! – As with other Xbox LIVE content, Games on Demand titles are linked to your Xbox LIVE account, so you can delete and re-download anything you have already purchased to the same console or another console.

User Ratings
User ratings help you find games that other people think are awesome!
· Rate it – You can now rate every game on the Xbox LIVE Games Marketplace using a 5-star system.
· Sort and Find it – Now you can easily find the games that everyone's been raving about by visiting the Top Rated games in the Browse All category of Xbox LIVE Games Marketplace.

Xbox LIVE Parties
Everyone loves to Party! Check out the new and improved Xbox LIVE Party features.
· Party Reconnections – If you are accidently disconnected from your party, Xbox LIVE will automatically reconnect you.
· Streamlined Party Invites – Invites are now just one click away! No need to click through multiple screens to get all your friends together.

Video Display Options
We've made it easier for you to see your entertainment in the highest resolution possible on your TV using an HDMI connection.

* Display Discovery – Make sure you can see and hear your entertainment in the highest resolution and sound quality possible with the option to override and select audio and video formats independent of the information your television sends to your Xbox 360 console.

Other Improvements
We're always listening to you for feedback, and this Xbox LIVE update will include numerous dashboard updates.
· Gold Member Veterans – Xbox LIVE Gold members get to show it off with a stamp on your Gamer Card that tells people how long you've been a Gold member.

* Indie Games – Xbox LIVE Community Games has been renamed Xbox LIVE Indie Games. We feel this new name better represents the independent spirit of these titles.

· Achievement Browser – We've revamped the Achievements browser so it's now easier to read through all the achievements while playing a game. You can now also launch a game directly from the browser.
· Achievements Tracking – A new view inside the profile panel which includes a summary of Achievements earned across all the games played, and shows of all your completed games.

* Streamlined Navigation - Streamlined navigation, including new entry points in the dashboard for Active Downloads, redeeming codes, recovering Gamertags and more.

· Voice Messages – No more blank voice messages! When recording a voice message, a warning will pop up if no audio is detected.
· Friends List Sorting – It's now easier to find your friends! Find and sort your friends by activity, Gamertag or online status by pressing the Y button while viewing the friends list in the Guide.
· Memory – Time stamps now appear in the memory area, which particular handy when managing saved games.

Account Management
We've made some changes to make your life easier.
· Subscription Notification – If your Xbox LIVE subscription is about to run out, you will now be notified when you sign into Xbox LIVE.
· Updates for Invalid Windows Live IDs – If the Windows Live ID you provided has expired, you will now be prompted to update it the next time you sign into Xbox LIVE.
· Account recovery – We've enhanced the account recovery process to make it faster and more reliable.

What does this Xbox LIVE Update not include?

The following features will be coming in future Xbox LIVE updates, which we'll be sure to let you know about.
· Facebook
· Twitter
· Zune video and 1080p Instant On
· Last.fm





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A Flowchart For What Career Path You Should Choose

Posted by itsyourboyerik on 10:19 PM

We all remember taking those career assessment tests in school, where you would answer a bunch of questions, and then the test would tell you what you should be when you grow up.  Well, we've come up with a simpler, more realistic flowchart for the adult who, like many of us, still doesn't know what career path to choose. 

 


 

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Trap Wasps with Soda Bottles

Posted by itsyourboyerik on 10:19 PM



Summer means barbeques, beach time, and—less invitingly—bugs. We've already shown you how to get rid of flies with a bag of water—now it's time to turn our attention to eliminating pesky wasps.

Photo by freeparking.

Advice weblog TipNut offers two different styles of trap—one for hanging, the other for positioning on the ground—to enjoy a wasp-free outdoors. To make either version, you'll need an empty two-liter soda bottle or any other plastic bottle that has an even width distribution along the sides, and a sharp knife. Once your trap is built, make sure not to overload it with bait (fruit juice and beer are both good options) because there needs to be sufficient air space between the bottom of the bottle opening for the wasps to easily get in.

Hit up the full post for the step-by-step instructions, then let us know of any other creative ways you've found to get rid of wasps and other outdoor pests in the comments.



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MH Magazine: Burgers

Posted by itsyourboyerik on 8:27 AM

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Plan Ahead When Traveling Abroad with Laptops

Posted by itsyourboyerik on 10:13 PM


For many of us, a true vacation is one in which we stay offline for once. But if you simply can't make do without your laptop, here are some guidelines on how to successfully transport and use your device when traveling abroad.

Photo by Georgio Montazeri.

PC World has outlined some reminders for those carrying their computers overseas.

Apart from socket adaptability issues, it's important to bear in mind that if your laptop is new, like say less than six months old, you may need to prove to customs agents that you purchased it back home, and not in the country you're visiting. Otherwise, you might be hit with a duty tax. Receipts or relevant registration information should be enough proof.

Apart from the above mentioned adapter, it's also important to cross-check for voltage compatibility in the host country. PC World says to "examine the tiny print on the adapter for something like 'V100-240,'" which means the laptop can handle anywhere from 100 to 240 volts. For its part, North America uses around 120 volts, while Western Europe uses 230. (If you know of other voltage measures, lets us know, in the comments.)

Hit up the full post for more international travel-with-laptop tips, then share any other issues you've encountered while traveling with yours. And if your destination requires flying, make sure to properly secure your laptop for air travel to get it there safely.





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The Badger is Officially My New Favorite Animal

Posted by itsyourboyerik on 10:52 PM

Badger


From Reuters


A badger in Germany got so drunk on over-ripe cherries it staggered into the middle of a road and refused to budge, police said on Wednesday. A motorist called police near the central town of Goslar to report a dead badger on a road — only for officers to turn up and discover the animal alive and well, but drunk. Police discovered the nocturnal beast had eaten cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol and given the badger diarrhea.


Good God I only wish I A. Had the video and B. could hear a badger speak English.


Can you imagine what this little guy would have said to the cops?  “Guys, get the f*ck out of here and let me be.  I feel like ass and the last thing I need is you tools crowded around me.”  (followed by the diarrhea and…..)  “Didn’t I tell you to get the hell out of here?”


Badgers absolutely rule.

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Sunday’s Picture of the Week: She Looks So Lonely

Posted by itsyourboyerik on 10:51 PM

Hi


My only explanation for putting this picture up is….why wouldn’t I put this picture up?



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Overheard: Boink!

Posted by itsyourboyerik on 10:50 PM


overheard-lead-thumb


Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!


(Girl, gesturing wildly to her friends.)


Girl: It’s Reverse Nursing! You suck babies in through your nipples!


(Guy, talking to his angry girlfriend on a park bench.)


Guy: What’s wrong with “Royal Buffet?” That’s where I went on my 21st birthday.


(Guy and a girl, talking in a bookstore.)


Guy: I checked it out, and it’s bigger than the girls’.


Girl: “Bigger than the girls” sounds like some terrible euphemism for something.


(Two guys at the Salvation Army.)


Guy 1: That old woman took the ugliest chair in the universe.


Guy 2: Maybe she needed it for fuel.


(Two guys, looking at a very tall rock.)


Guy 1: I don’t know, I think I’m counting on adrenaline to get me over.


Guy 2: Like, you’ll shoot adrenal fluid out your butt so fast that it causes you to fly?


(Two girls, at a sobriety checkpoint.)


Officer: Where are you girls off to?


Girl 1: Nowhere. Just carrying tons of booze around in our car for no reason.


Officer: That’s not funny, you know.


Girl 1: Sorry, Officer.


(Man waiting in an office.)


Man: *points at desk picture* Is that your son? I think I’ve seen him somewhere.


Woman at desk: I’m sorry? Yes. It is.


Man: I’m not sure, I only got a glimpse before he turned around and started making out with some girl. He’s very attractive.


Woman: … Thank you?


(Girl, making plans on the phone.)


Girl: We’re trying to do a beach trip on Saturday.


(beat)


Girl: No, I don’t know what the weather’s gonna be like. Can’t we check it when we get there?


(Big, bearded guy walking by another guy in a hardware store.)


Beard guy: *leaning over, muttering* Hey… hey. It’s insanity.


Other guy: What?


Beard guy: *keeps walking*


(Girls hiking on a forest trail.)


Girl: Doesn’t it seem like everything fun is illegal?


Girl 2: Yeah, or else it’s already on fire.





(Guy on the phone.)


Guy: My roommates are just such… big, mean, round gay monkeys!


 

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MMA Live UFC 100 Postfight Show

Posted by itsyourboyerik on 10:38 AM

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