Wanna know why you're fat? Blame this little guy, and his two sweet saucey friends; rasberry jelly and barvarian cream dipping sauce...mmm!

Excerpt from ThisIsWhyYou'reFat

Watch Hardly Working: Keyboard Prank on CollegeHumor

Not any ordinary photo of the sun. Photographer captures Atlantis about to grapple with Hubble during sun transit.

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Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

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Celebrating my birthday (July 4 baby!) in beautiful San Diego with the rest of my football squad! Team HOTPOCKETS rollin' deep to Cali-for-nuh-yay! Chyeah!

By: Adam Campbell

1. Guarantee Success
How long do you think you can stick to a new plan? Find a duration that you're 100 percent confident you can achieve, even if it's just a couple of days. "Once you make it to your goal date, start the process over," says Mary Vernon, M.D., president of the American Society of Bariatric Physicians. "This not only establishes the notion that you can be successful, but also gives you a chance to start noticing that eating better makes you feel better, reinforcing your desire to continue."

2. Find More Motivation
If your diet's only purpose is to help you finally achieve six-pack abs (or even just a two-pack), it may be hard to stick with for the long haul. The solution? "Provide yourself with additional motivators," says Jeff Volek, Ph.D., R.D. He suggests monitoring migraines, heartburn, acne, canker sores, and sleep quality, along with common measures of cardiovascular health. "Discovering that your new diet improves the quality of your life and health can be powerful motivation," says Volek.

3. Don't Dwell on Mistakes
Okay, you over-indulged. What's the next step? "Forget about it," says James Newman, a nutritionist at Tahlequah City Hospital, in Oklahoma, who followed his own advice to shed 250 pounds. (That's right, 250 pounds.) "One meal doesn't define your diet, so don't assume that you've failed or fallen off the wagon," he says. Institute a simple rule: Follow any "cheat" meal with at least five healthy meals and snacks. That ensures that you'll be eating right more than 80 percent of the time.
4. Eat Breakfast
Sure, you've heard this one before. But consider that if you sleep for 6 to 8 hours and then skip breakfast, your body is essentially running on fumes by the time you reach work. And that sends you desperately seeking sugar, which is easy to find. "The most convenient foods are often the same ones you should be avoiding," says Berkowitz. That's because they're usually packed with sugar (candy bars, soda), or other fast-digesting carbohydrates (cookies, chips). Which leads to our next strategy.

5. Install Food Regulators
It's time for a regime change. Clean out your cupboard and fridge, then restock them with almonds and other nuts, cheese, fruit and vegetables, and canned tuna, chicken, and salmon. And do the same at work. "By eliminating snacks that don't match your diet but providing plenty that do, you're far less likely to find yourself at the doughnut-shop drive-thru or the vending machine," says Christopher Mohr, Ph.D., R.D., president of Mohr Results, in Louisville, Kentucky.

6. Think Like a Biochemist
It's true: They make all-natural cookies. But even if a cookie is made with organic cane juice (the hippie name for sugar), it's still junk food. Ditto for lots of "health foods" in the granola aisle. That's because hippie sweeteners raise your blood sugar just like the common white stuff. "If you're going to eat a cookie, accept that you're deviating from your plan, and then revert back to your diet afterward," says Berkowitz. "By convincing yourself that it's healthy, you're only encouraging a bad habit."

7. Recognize Hunger
Have a craving for sweets, even though you ate just an hour ago? Imagine eating a large, sizzling steak instead. "If you're truly hungry, the steak will sound good, and you should eat," says Richard Feinman, Ph.D., a professor of biochemistry at SUNY Downstate Medical Center, in New York City. "If it doesn't sound good, your brain is playing tricks on you." His advice: Change your environment, which can be as easy as doing 15 pushups or finding a different task to focus on.

8. Take a Logical Approach
"Before you take a bite of food, consider whether it's moving you one step closer to your goals or one step farther away," says Alwyn Cosgrove, C.S.C.S., owner of Results Fitness, in Santa Clarita, California. This won't stop you from making a poor choice every single time, but it does encourage the habit of thinking long-term about what you're eating right now. The payoff is that "80 to 90 percent of the time, you'll make a better decision."

Basically IMAX is whoring out their brand name and trying to trick people. These new “IMAX” theatres are really just nice digital screens with good sound, but they ARE NOT IMAX, in that they don’t have the huge 72 ft gigantic screen which people would expect. However, they still charge $5 more for tickets as they would for the regular IMAX.

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SEATTLE—Employees at Classmates.com—an online service that enables users to find and communicate with people from their past for a monthly fee—have done everything in their power to keep the company's CEO from finding out about the wildly popular social networking site Facebook. "He knows something is going on," Classmates.com web coder Josh Krzysch said while combing his boss's newspaper and removing any offending articles. "The other day he asked me why people aren't interested in getting in touch with old friends anymore, and I told him that the Internet just isn't very popular right now. What else was I supposed to say?" Employees claim that unless things somehow miraculously improve by next month, they plan to quietly pack up their desks and leave in the middle of the night.

[Excerpt from TheOnion]

Name: Danneel Harris

Birthday: March 18, 1979

Where She's From: Eunice, LA

Where You've Seen Her: One Tree Hill, and Harold & Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay

What She Does: Danneel Harris may have grown up going to church in small-town Louisiana, but she’s far more Bourbon Street than Southern belle. She’s the type of girl who moves to L.A. with no intention of acting and then picks up the skill because she thought the fast-and-furious lifestyle would suit her. She first made her mark as a hell-raiser on the hit TV show One Tree Hill, and after heating up Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, she’s once again making the big screen sizzle. This month Danneel plays a cheerleader trying to get her hands on a teammate’s pompoms in Fired Up, followed by a role as a girlfriend gone wild in this summer’s Mardi Gras. Get ready for Hurricane Danneel! [Excerpt from Maxim]

Although it would be unfair to say all Players are essentially the same in terms of traits and personality, anybody who labels themselves a “ladies' man” holds firm to a base set of ideals. Hence, there are certain words that aren’t part of the Player’s vocabulary, and certain sayings that will never escape his lips. If you’re a woman and you’re asking yourself, “How can I spot a ‘Player?’" then you simply need to listen for the following statements; if you ever hear any of them, your guy doesn’t qualify. A successful pickup artist is typically endowed with the gift of gab, but thanks to time and experience, he carefully selects what chitchat he makes. To the receptive girl, it always sounds smooth and casual; never forced and never strained, and capable of allowing most any woman to relax in mere minutes. In short, Players are master conversationalists but they’re also experts at controlling their own fate. Always remember: Players would never say anything to compromise those aforementioned ideals.

“I love you”

It’s a predictable No. 1, but all the critical women out there should realize that avoiding this heartfelt statement saves you a great deal of stress and pain. As the Player has no enemies -- male or female -- and he frowns on manipulation and deception, he isn’t about to toy with a woman’s heart just to satisfy his base desires. At no point will a true ladies' man say, “I love you.” While it does indeed stem from a dislike of commitment, these three little words only lead to trouble. A Player will spare you that. There may come a day when a pickup artist does say what every woman wants to hear when they’re playing “wedding dress-up” as little girls, but if so that means two things: 1) He means it; and 2) He has voluntarily turned in his Player license. Only the cruel and evil say, “I love you” to get what they want, and then go on their merry way.

“I don’t care -- whatever you want to do”

At no point is a Player disinterested in his partner’s hobbies and activities, and at no point does he relinquish all control of the situation. There’s a reason why you typically only hear this statement from married or committed men; men who have already accepted their fate and have lost all interest in the proceedings. The ladies' man is always interested in hearing a woman’s suggestions for plans and he’s never a doormat, as he understands the ceaseless female desire for avid communication. No man who claims to be successful in the playing field says, “I don’t care” very often, as it typically halts a discussion prematurely and signifies an apathetic approach to the relationship dynamic -- and possibly even a weak personality. Besides, “whatever you want to do” could mean just about anything, and no Player leaves so much to chance.

“This is way too expensive”

He may think it, but he’d never say it. Having money certainly isn’t a prerequisite for all aspiring Players (although it helps), but one should never flaunt his lack of funds. Even if he has plenty of cash in the bank, the pickup artist will still avoid this all-too-common exclamation as it includes far too many negative implications. Even if she’s aware the man has money, she’ll assume he’s cheap, or if she’s the high-maintenance type, she’ll probably disappear before he can turn around twice. If the ladies' man has no intention of springing for an expensive dinner or purchasing an expensive coat for his girl, he’ll deftly avoid the subject and steer the conversation in another direction. If you ever see a guy sit back in his chair after dinner and start whining about the bill, he ain’t no Player.

“Wanna f*ck?”

Despite popular opinion among the feminists, the Player exhibits a certain amount of class and sophistication at all times. Not only is this ridiculous question crass and adolescent in nature, it shows nothing in the way of tact and good breeding -- both of which are required traits for any legitimate ladies' man. On top of which, the observational and social talent of the Player allows him to accurately assess the situation; if she’s ready to go, he knows it. The transition from discussion to sex should be seamless and even wordless. At the same time, there’s no reason for any Player to ever ask for permission -- i.e., “May I kiss you now?” -- because it too is unnecessary. Some women may view the latter question as “sensitive” or “respectful,” but in reality it only shows a lack of confidence and understanding. The man in question is skilled in the art of seduction; such questions are beneath him.

“Sorry, I don’t have a condom”

Yeah, right. The Player who hits the night scene without a condom isn’t a Player at all. Some will immediately call this a misplaced sense of bravado or cockiness rather than confidence, but the truth of the matter is simple: A ladies' man can snag a lady at any given time. It doesn’t always happen in the standard, traditional locations; it could happen in an elevator, a parked car or the restaurant bathroom. Who knows? The point is, a Player is always prepared and furthermore, he’s always safe. The lifestyle is appealing and exciting in a variety of different ways, but it can also be dangerous, and the responsible lover never says: “Nah, just forget the condom this one time!” He knows that “one time” could be his Waterloo, and because he ultimately respects every woman in the bedroom, he wouldn’t risk her well being either.

PLAYER BANTER

If you ever hear a man say any of these five things, you can toss the “Player” label right out the window. Even the best of us slip up at times, but believe it or not, the pickup artist abides by a very strict set of rules that isn’t negotiable. The world of the Player is far more meticulous and carefully crafted than vibrantly chaotic.

Excerpt from AskMen

This was shown last night during the Celtics/Magic Playoff game and it looks FUCKIN' AWESOME!

If you haven't yet planned the brunch or picked out the flowers or at least mailed the card, then consider what follows the only motivation you should need. In short, mothers have it tough. Mom deals with all this, studies show, with less help and as much pain and stress as ever. Consider these 5 Scientific Reasons Mom Deserves Mother's Day....

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