Don't Get Suckered, Suckah!

If a beautiful girl does any of the following 10 things, you might start thinking she wants you. You might be wrong.

1. She backs her ass up into you while dancing.
All this means is that she’s had about eight Red Bull and vodkas and the DJ just put on some Lil Jon. What! Ye-ah!

2. She invites you to brunch.
A rule of thumb: Eggs and coffee never lead to the bedroom. Brunch after sex, yes; brunch before sex, never.

3. She calls you hysterically crying.
You think by getting intimate with her feelings, she’s showing she wants to be intimate in other ways. Reality: She’d never let on to a guy she wants to sleep with that she’s teetering on the edge of sanity.

4. She compliments you on your sweet new shoes or shades.
She’s not noticing you, she’s noticing new pretty, shiny, fashiony things.

5. She asks you for sex advice.
She’s just trying to find out what that other guy she’s going to blow enjoys.

6. She bums a smoke.
You’re psyched about a few precious minutes alone; she’s suffering your company to feed her soul-crushing addiction.

7. She meets you for drinks wearing sneakers and a ratty old tee.
This is not an attempt to show you her cute sporty look. She honestly doesn’t give a shit whether you find her attractive.

8. She flirts with you—sometimes.
If she goes hot and cold, don’t kid yourself: She’s not playing hard to get; she’s just keeping you hanging on in case she can’t get anyone she likes better.

9. She invites you to a boring event, like a play.
Could Mamma Mia! be so excruciating that no one else would go with her? Bingo.

10. She seductively eats a banana or ice cream cone in front of you.
Sorry, guy, but there’s just no other way to eat these things.

Excerpt From Maxim Magazine