An Embarrassing Confession

I was a victim of buying a silly product due to false advertising. Here is my story.

Back in 2002, the AXE Body Spray product launched in the United States. The commercial that was shown on TV showed a teenager nonchalantly spraying himself with the product and all the females that were around attacked him...sexually. Now, the commercial explained why this was. They claimed that there were pheromones inside the product that made the opposite sex go wild! Thus triggering the attack the women on the commercial engaged on the poor sap.

It was a week before the homecoming dance in high school and my gullible ass decided to go on a hunt for this infamous panty dropper product. However, I did not pay attention at all to the commercial because it clearly said it was a bodyspray, not a cologne. So I'm going to all the fragrance departments in Macy's, Wal-Mart, Target, etc. with no luck of finding it! I thought to myself "Wow, this product must be SO good that it's not even available to the mass public!" False. So I started researching the interwebs for it. Results came up showing that I can get this product in the deodorant section of department stores. I rushed over quickly to Wal-Mart and got myself a bottle of AXE for a mere $3.

Homecoming night. I was ready to try the experiment. This is the night that I get the attention of the females. I sprayed four parts of my upper body, the armpits, the chest, and the neck. The moment of truth. I make my way to school and meet up with a few buddies of mine. I bragged about the AXE spray that the commercial was raving about and how I was ready to reel in all the females in the shindig. I look around the dance floor and I spot a group of girls. Let the fun times commence. I walk towards the group casually, big smile on my face. I was just hoping the wrong females don't smell my awesome new stench since I was saving it for the group of hotties that was in my line of sight.

I come closer to the group and give a friendly nod as I realize that I know 1 or 2 familiar faces. I brush up against them just to make sure they get a good sniff. I wait for an instant reaction. Waiting for some sort of euphoria to hit them. Nothing. I circle around them again, brushing up on them as innocently as I can without hinting of being a pervert. Still nothing.

I've finally given up as the rest of the night wore on without any attacks or glances. The product has not worked. I was just suckered into coughing up $3 to the damn AXE people. Some old guy in the big corporate office must've been laughing his ass off as another chunk of change entered his bank bank account. My gullibility has failed me once again...

...FML