Drunken Argument Friday: Saints or Colts?

 

If there's one thing we like more than drinking, it's arguing about really stupid things, like who would win in a fight between actual saints and actual colts. Here's what it looks like when we do both at the same time:

 

Drunken Argument for the Saints:

 

According to Wikipedia, saints are holy dead guys that live in heaven.  There are also over 10,000 of them.  They're essentially ghosts, so we're talking about 10,000 ghosts.  That should be enough to convince anyone that a bunch of wobbly-legged colts would lose this fight, but it doesn't make much sense for a ghost to fight a scared little horsey.  Unless, of course, you think about every ghost movie ever made.  Ghosts aren't made of organic material.  Therefore, colts are unable to strike them.  This automatically takes the colts' offense away.  They're stuck playing defense, and if you know anything about colts, then you know they're nothing without their offense.  Ghosts are spooky, and the colts' defense is going to be rendered useless by the spookiness factor.  Horses get spooked and scatter like flies if you fart near them.  They're not going to be able to organize themselves enough to defeat the spooky saints in battle when they're running for their lives.  Not to mention: the saints are playing with St. George, the patron saint of war, and St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals.  This basically means that the horses are f*cked.  Any protection they thought they had is automatically gone, and they're up against a dead guy who's only purpose is war.  The saints are going to slaughter the colts on the battlefield, and the colts are either going to end up in the glue factory, eventually attaching Fruit Loops to my nephew's artwork, or the Alpo factory, and later in my dog's bowl.  Either way, the outcome is the same: the colts are going to end up in the stool of a living creature that I hold dear. That's right: poop. Saints win this one easily.

 

Drunken Argument for the Colts:

 

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